In this article, we will analyze the IELTS Writing Task 1 response of a candidate.

Question:

You are shifting to a new home and writing a letter to your friend. In your letter, write:

1. Tell her the news of shifting home.

2. Describe your new home.

3. Invite her to your home.

Candidate’s Response:

Dear Natasha,

I was really glad to receive your email yesterday. As you might be aware, I was contemplating moving my house from Park Street to West Avenue last time we had met. Let me give you the good news that I have finally found my space in a much better place than West Avenue. It is called Pak Exotica and is located on Ocean Road. Though this place is a little secluded from the city, its approach is far better.

In addition to this, my home is just a 20-minute drive from my workplace. In fact, this is the main reason I have moved here. At first, I was a bit reluctant to take up the house as I had been living in Park Plaza all my life, but let me tell you, the people in my society and the overall aura of the place have made me an insider from a stranger.

My house is on the 11th floor and is fully equipped with kitchen accessories and a 24-hour helpline is available for any of your needs.

You have to personally come and visit my place to actually live my experience. Please make a plan in these summer holidays to come and stay with me and, all in all, have an outstanding experience.

Yours truly,

Shamita

Now, let us find out what’s right and wrong in the above IELTS Writing Task 1 and what band score it deserves.

Para 1:

Strength:

The answer to the first bullet point is written well with good vocabulary (contemplating, secluded) and complex sentences. The sentences are free from grammar and tense errors.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“my house, from Park Street to West Avenue, last time we had met” should be “my house, from Park Street to West Avenue, last time we had met.”

“in much better place” should be “in a much better place.”

“Pak Exotica on the Ocean Road” should be “Pak Exotica and is located on the Ocean Road.”

“its approach is far more better” can be “its approach is far better.”

Para 2:

Strength:

The answer to the second bullet point is written well with good vocabulary (reluctant) and complex sentences. The sentences are again free from grammar and tense errors.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“In fact this is” can be “In fact, this is.”

“AT first” should be “At first.”

“All my life” should be “all my life.”

“let me tell you the people” can be “let me tell you, the people.”

“and insider” should be “an insider.”

Para 3:

Strength:

Extra information is given to extend the point.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“a 24-hour helpline for any of your needs” should be “a 24-hour helpline is available for any of your needs.”

Para 4:

Strength:

The sentence is free from grammar or tense errors.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“stay with me and all in all have an outstanding” should be “stay with me to, all in all, have an outstanding.”

Expected Band Score: Band 7

The candidate forms sentences, almost all the time, free from errors of grammar and tense. However, there are a few punctuation, capitalization, and formatting errors, but all answers to the bullet points are well explained and easy to understand.