Let’s analyze the performance of a candidate in the IELTS writing task 2 mock exam.

Question asked in IELTS Writing Task 2:

More and more people are traveling nowadays compared to the past.

What are the reasons behind this? What are the benefits of traveling?

Candidate’s Response for IELTS Writing Task 2:

In today’s world, traveling has become a form of entertainment, and we see more people traveling compared to earlier days.

If we ponder on the question ‘why is this the case?’, mainly three points are highlighted. That is, awareness, an increase in spending capacity, and smaller families. To begin with, let’s understand that people are becoming more aware of their surroundings due to numerous exposures to the outside world through print media and virtual media like the internet or television. They are continuously bombarded with information on lovely pictures of locales around the world. For example, a travel agency will exhibit lovely posters.

Secondly, with two earning members, that is, husband and wife in a family, the spending capacity increases. So they can plan elaborate holidays without twining a hole in their pockets. And lastly, today’s smaller families have no extended relatives. This leaves them with not many options for spending their vacations with. Hence traveling around becomes a viable option to spend their holidays.

Exposure to a new culture is the main benefit of traveling for a traveler. It makes them understand that there is a world outside their cocoon which has its own ways of eating, celebrating, and thinking. Apart from this, a broader perspective is achieved by the traveler in terms of technological progress and its effect on the standard of living of the common man.

To sum it up, traveling is an enriching experience which teaches the traveler about life. And as a curious human, which we all have been and with available options, we have been traveling more than ever before.

Now, let us do a complete analysis of the IELTS writing task 2 above as follows:

Introduction:

Paraphrasing of the question statement is there with no grammatical errors.

Body Paragraph 1 in IELTS Writing Task 2:

Strengths:

Reasons and examples are given as asked in the question. Sentence connectors are used, and an idiomatic expression is used “bombarded with.”

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“If we ponder on the question ‘why is this the case?’, mainly three points are highlighted. That is, awareness, an increase in spending capacity, and smaller families.” can be corrected as “If we ponder on the question, ‘why is this the case?’, mainly three points are highlighted: awareness, an increase in spending capacity, and smaller families.”

“an travel agency” should be “a travel agency”

Body Paragraph 2 in IELTS Writing Task 2:

Strengths:

Sentence connectors (secondly, lastly) are used, idiomatic expression is there (“twinning a hole in their pockets”), reasons are well given, and there is no grammar error.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“Secondly, with two earning members that are the husband and wife in a family, the spending capacity increases. So they can plan elaborate holidays without twining a hole in their pockets. And lastly, today’s smaller families have no extended relatives” can be corrected as:

“Secondly, with two earning members, that is, the husband and wife in a family, the spending capacity increases. So they can plan elaborated holidays without twining a hole in their pockets. And lastly, today’s smaller families have no extended relatives.”

Body Paragraph 3 in IELTS Writing Task 2:

Strengths:

Benefits are given along with the use of connectives (apart from this), and good use of vocabulary (cocoon, broader perspective) is there.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“It makes them” should be “It makes him,” “outside their cocoon” should be “outside his cocoon,” “which has their own ways” should be “which has his own ways.”

More benefits should be included in the second para while keeping the first para as reasons for traveling to better structure the paras.

Conclusion:

Strengths:

Sentence connector is used (to sum up), good vocabulary (enriching, curious), and a good structure of complex sentences is there.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“as a curious human” should be “as curious humans.”

Expected Band Score for IELTS Writing Module: 7.5 Band

Overall, the candidate mostly writes free from grammatical errors and tense-related errors while naturally making use of idioms and sentence connectors. There are usage errors related to punctuation and grammar at times.