Let’s analyze the candidate’s IELTS writing task 2 response below to determine the band score they deserve.

Question:

Global warming is increasing day by day. What are the causes of global warming, and what can be done to eradicate this global problem?

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, existence of human being is threatened by a serious environmental cause known as global warming. The causes of global warming are multifactorial, thus need a systematic approach from government organizations and individuals to tackle the issue.

To begin with, the important causes of current global warming are, firstly, the industrial revolution in the modern times has led to an increased release of gases into the atmosphere like carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, methane, to name a few. These gases are known to increase the temperature of the atmosphere by trapping ultraviolet rays into the earth’s atmosphere. Moreover, population explosion has resulted in excessive dependence on fossil fuels for cars, public transport, and railways. These machines emit a lot of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

In addition, deforestation done by the humans for their habitat and agriculture has resulted in huge loss of trees, which are the cleaners of combustion gases from the atmosphere. Furthermore, the ozone layer is depleted from many parts of the earth, thus allowing harmful rays of the sun to enter the earth’s surface. The measures that government needs to take to solve or to reduce global warming are, first of all, conserving the forest area by implementing strict norms and encouraging to plant more trees in the cities. Secondly, the release of gases from industries should be reduced by installing pollution control filters. Thirdly, discouraging the use of fossil fuels for vehicles and promoting the usage of renewable sources of energy, such as solar energy, tidal power, and wind power, can be the possible solutions.

To conclude, global warming is a very serious issue that needs to be addressed with priority. The government and all individuals should join hands to reduce this eminent threat and save the earth and future generations.

Let us now do a thorough analysis of the IELTS writing task 2 response as below:

Introduction

Strength:

Paraphrasing of the question is well done, and good use of vocabulary (multifactorial, systematic approach, tackle).

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“existance” should be “existence,” “know as” should be “known as,” “thus needs a” can be “and thus, it needs a”

Body Para 1

Strength:

Sentence connectors (to begin with, moreover) are used, complex structures are used with good use of vocabulary (industrial revolution, excessive dependence), and causes are well explained.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“globalwarming” should be “global warming,” “like” can be written as “such as,” “these gases are known” should be “which are known,” “increase the temperature of the atmosphere” should be “increase the temperature of the atmosphere,” “moreoover” should be “moreover,” “these machines emit” should be “which emit.”

Body Para 2

Strength:

Sentence connectors (In addition, furthermore, secondly, etc.) are used with a good sign of coherence, and solutions are also listed well.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“who are” should be “which are,” “earth, thus allowing” should be “earth, thus, allowing,” “instaling” should be “installing,” “discouraging use of fossil fuels” should be “discouraging the use of fossil fuels,” “and wind power” should be extended further to complete the sentence as “and wind power can be the possible solutions.”

Conclusion

Strength:

Sentence connector (to conclude) is used, vocabulary (addressed, eminent threat) usage is good.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“save earth and future generations” should be “save earth as well as future generations.”

Expected Band Score: Band 7

The candidate is writing mostly free from errors of grammar or tense. However, there are some mistakes in spelling, punctuation, and other areas. Overall, the response shows coherence and good use of vocabulary, leading to a Band 7 score.