Let’s try to analyze the IELTS Writing Task 1 performance of a candidate.

Question:

You want to request leaves from your HR manager. In your letter, write:

1. Purpose of writing the letter.

2. Why you want to take leaves.

3. Say who will manage work on your behalf.

Candidate’s Response:

Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to request that I need some leaves in the next month.

We are two siblings in the family. My younger sister has got engaged. Her marriage is finalized on 20 December. Moreover, this is the first marriage in our family, and we all are very excited. My father is alone, and I need to go home to support him. Furthermore, there are three functions in continuation, and there is more to do.

My father is aged, and he cannot do all the arrangements alone. So, I need a leave for 15 days from 08 to 23 December. I know the importance and priority of agency projects. That’s why I have planned everything so that the work should not suffer. In addition to that, I am working on two projects. Project B has just started, so I have discussed with Rohit, and he agrees to work on the project and will continue from here only. Whereas Project A is about to complete, and I am working extra time to finish the project before I leave.

I hope you understand my family responsibility and allow me to take leave. I am looking forward to your response.

Yours faithfully,

Abhay Mishra

Now, let’s analyze the following IELTS Writing Task 1 response as follows:

Para 1

Strength:

The first bullet point of the question is answered.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

None

Para 2

Strength:

Sentence connectors (moreover, furthermore) are used, and sentences are structured well.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“is got engaged” can be “has got engaged,” “continution” should be “continuation.”

Para 3

Strength:

Sentence connectors (in addition to that, whereas) are used, and the third bullet point of the question is well explained.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“That why” should be “That’s why,” “everything, so that” should be “everything so that,” “Project B, is just started, so I have discussed with Rohit and he is agree to work on the project and will continue from here only. Whereas Project A is about to complete, and I am working for extra time to finish the project before I leave.” can be “Project B has just got started, and I have discussed it with Rohit, who has agreed to work on the project to continue it further, whereas Project A is about to complete, and I am also working extra time to finish the project before I leave.

Para 4

Strength:

The finishing statement is written well as required.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

“and allow me for this leave” should be “and allow me to take leave.”

Expected Band Score: Band 7

The candidate writes free from errors related to grammar and tense and answers all parts of questions well, but sometimes punctuation, complex structure, and other errors are there.