Objective: Band 6.0

The author presents both viewpoints regarding government spending on the arts and whether it could be better allocated. The word count is within the required range of 250-270 words.

Coherence: Band 6.0

Some sentences are long and lack coherence.

Grammar: Band 4.0

There are errors in the usage of modals, subject-verb agreement, helping verbs, and capitalization of common nouns.

Vocabulary: 6.0

The essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement.

Overall Band: 5.5

A revised sample Essay Writing model answer:

There is a segment of the population that believes government spending on the arts is wasteful and that funds could be better allocated elsewhere. This essay aims to assess the level of agreement with this statement.

Some individuals argue that preserving a nation’s rich culture and heritage is of utmost importance. They argue that future generations should be aware of their glorious past and draw valuable insights from the experiences of their ancestors. For example, the preservation of heritage monuments and sites such as Qutb Minar, the Iron Pillar, and the Indus Valley Civilization provides engineers and architects with valuable knowledge about historical architecture and engineering techniques. The remarkable resistance to rust exhibited by the Iron Pillar, despite exposure to the elements, is a testament to the marvels of ancient metallurgical processes.

On the other hand, there are those who contend that spending should prioritize necessities such as education and healthcare over luxury expenditures, including the preservation of art and architecture. They argue that developing the country’s infrastructure is vital for progress, including the establishment of educational institutions like IITs and IIMs, medical facilities like AIIMS, and improving irrigation systems through dam construction.

Considering both perspectives, it becomes clear that both types of spending are essential. While investing in basic infrastructure ensures the country’s progress, preserving the nation’s heritage keeps its cultural soul alive and vibrant.

Overall, it is important to strike a balance between these two types of expenditure to promote both the country’s advancement and the preservation of its rich cultural heritage.