Essay Writing Evaluation

Objective: Band 6

– The essay partially answers the question but lacks a clear position.

– It has an introduction and conclusion, and it is divided into four paragraphs.

– The word count is sufficient at 217 words.

Coherence: 5

– The essay presents information with some organization but lacks overall progression.

– There is repetition due to the lack of referencing and substitution.

– Improvements can be made to enhance the flow and coherence of the essay.

Grammar: 6

– The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences.

– There are errors in grammar and sentence construction that need to be addressed.

– Proofreading and editing can help improve the accuracy and clarity of the essay.

Vocabulary: 5

– The essay demonstrates a limited range of appropriate vocabulary.

– There is room for improvement in using more varied and precise vocabulary.

– Expanding the vocabulary will enhance the quality of the essay.

Overall Band: 5.5

Model Essay Writing:

The increasing number of private cars on the roads worldwide has raised concerns about pollution and its contribution to global warming. While some argue that governments should invest in developing public transportation systems to address these issues, I believe that focusing on the development of energy-efficient vehicles is a better approach.

As people’s income and living standards improve, the demand for private cars naturally increases. It is important for the government to prioritize the development of eco-friendly vehicles as most families aspire to own a car for convenience and emergencies.

Energy-efficient vehicles powered by solar or natural gas offer a solution that reduces pollution and dependence on fossil fuels. Implementing regulations and maintenance standards for private vehicles can further minimize greenhouse gas emissions and mitigate pollution.

In conclusion, to tackle the problems of pollution and global warming, the government should prioritize the development of energy-efficient vehicles. Considering people’s inclination towards owning private cars, investing in sustainable and environmentally friendly innovations is crucial. Public transportation may have its challenges, including high maintenance costs. Therefore, a focus on energy-efficient vehicles can lead to a more sustainable and eco-friendly future.