It is often stated that achieving a high band score in the IELTS Writing Task 2 exam is challenging. Let’s analyze a student’s task response to assess its strengths and weaknesses and determine if it can be considered a Band 7 response.

The student’s response is provided below, followed by an analysis and prediction of the band score.

Question:

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for their development, while others think it is essential for children to attend school. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

Candidate’s Response:

There is a common belief that children can be effectively educated at home, which contributes to their personality development and overall well-being. However, others argue that sending children to school is necessary.

To begin with, schools serve as beacons of knowledge that illuminate all aspects of children’s lives. Furthermore, schools play a vital role in shaping character and personality. Interacting with peers from different backgrounds fosters harmony among the younger generation. Additionally, it teaches teamwork and collective thinking. Emotional stability and maturity are developed through interactions with friends and teachers. Recent surveys indicate that children educated in schools exhibit higher levels of intelligence and emotional quotient.

On the other hand, homeschooling offers numerous advantages. In this modern era, where both parents often work, they can allocate quality time for educating their children. While there is no specific curriculum or teaching module, children learn the values of adjustment, flexibility, time management, and crisis adaptation from home. Moreover, it is often said that a comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Parents understand their children’s comfort zones and help them break free from them. Parents are the best teachers for children, and their practical advice leaves a lasting impact.

For example, an article published in the national daily, The Hindu, reveals the success story of a boy named ‘Raghav,’ who excelled in his higher secondary exams. He credits his parents for his achievements and highlights how studying from home saved time and helped him succeed.

In conclusion, although both homeschooling and traditional schools have their merits, I believe that schools provide a better environment for acquiring knowledge, shaping character, and overall development.

Writing Task 2 Analysis:

Introduction

Strengths:

– Paraphrasing and use of synonyms are accurate.

Corrected erroneous phrases:

– Punctuation error: “common belief that children,” “…overall well-being, whereas some others…”

Body Paragraph 1

Strengths:

– Use of connectors, relevant ideas, and examples.

Corrected erroneous phrases:

– Plural word: “schools act as beacons,” “…all walks of their lives.”

– Idiom: “all walks of their lives” can be replaced with “different stages of their lives.”

– Article (a): “…kindle harmony,” “…have higher intelligence.”

– Missing word: “…kids who gained education.”

Body Paragraph 2

Strengths:

– Use of sentence connectors, well-explained ideas with examples, good vocabulary, and idioms.

Corrected erroneous phrases:

– Article (the): “…learning from home.”

– Punctuation: “In this modern era,” “…crisis, all will be,” “…grows there, in the same way, parents,” “…zones of their kids,” “Parents know the comfort…”

– Tense: “…and they find quality time,” “He suggested…”

– Spacing: “Even though.”

– Plural: “The ideas of…”

– Subject-verb agreement: “Parents know the comfort…”

– Missing word: “…remembered by them.”

– Preposition: “…With flying colors…”

Conclusion

Strengths:

– Use of a sentence connector, clear personal opinion.

Corrected erroneous phrases:

– Spacing: “Even though…”

– Capitalization: “…positive effects, in my perception…”

Predicted Band Score: 6.5

Remarks: Overall, the response provides clarity and explanation of relevant ideas. However, there are errors related to capitalization, punctuation, grammar, tense, articles, singular-plural words, and missing words. In paragraph 1, more ideas are presented, but not all are well-explained and supported. Nonetheless, the use of sentence connectors and vocabulary is good, and the personal opinion is clear.