The goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal?

Original Essay:

The majority of people believe that the primary goal of countries should be to enhance the manufacturing of various goods and materials. While this endeavor can bring both benefits and drawbacks to humankind, this essay aims to explore the controversial issues related to constantly increasing production.

Undoubtedly, a country cannot accelerate its development without boosting its material production. Moreover, it must produce goods to meet the growing demands of its population, such as food and clothing. Developing countries, especially the least developed ones, often face immense pressure to fulfill these needs. Additionally, enhancing GDP is a constant focus in order to alleviate poverty, which in turn requires continuous production. Nations strive to keep up with globalization and tend to manufacture an increasing quantity of materials. Exporting excess local products can lead to obtaining foreign currency and enable countries to compete in the global market, ultimately improving their overall economic activity.

However, the tendency to increase production may lead to negative consequences. When countries prioritize boosting their markets, they may overlook environmental concerns. More factories generate more waste, and if not managed properly, this can result in significant havoc, such as air and water pollution. Furthermore, high production does not necessarily eliminate scarcity unless resources are effectively distributed. The principle of long-term development lies in the efficient utilization of resources, not in an unwise surge of production.

In conclusion, countries need to emphasize producing more goods and materials to cope with the demands of the modern era. However, it is vital to approach production prudently, ensuring it is sustainable and eco-friendly.

Corrected Essay:

The majority of people believe that the primary goal of countries should be to enhance the manufacturing of various goods and materials. While this endeavor can bring both benefits and drawbacks to humankind, this essay aims to explore the controversial issues related to constantly increasing production.

Undoubtedly, a country cannot accelerate its development without boosting its material production. Moreover, it must produce goods to meet the growing demands of its population, such as food and clothing. Developing countries, especially the least developed ones, often face immense pressure to fulfill these needs. Additionally, enhancing GDP is a constant focus in order to alleviate poverty, which in turn requires continuous production. Nations strive to keep up with globalization and tend to manufacture an increasing quantity of materials. Exporting excess local products can lead to obtaining foreign currency and enable countries to compete in the global market, ultimately improving their overall economic activity.

However, the tendency to increase production may lead to negative consequences. When countries prioritize boosting their markets, they may overlook environmental concerns. More factories generate more waste, and if not managed properly, this can result in significant havoc, such as air and water pollution. Furthermore, high production does not necessarily eliminate scarcity unless resources are effectively distributed. The principle of long-term development lies in the efficient utilization of resources, not in an unwise surge of production.

In conclusion, countries need to emphasize producing more goods and materials to cope with the demands of the modern era. However, it is vital to approach production prudently, ensuring it is sustainable and eco-friendly.

(Written by Saifullah Omar Nasif)

Words: 290

Overall: 6.0

Task Response: 6

– Addresses all parts of the task, although some parts may be more fully covered than others (the topic question is addressed).

– Presents a relevant position, although the conclusion is repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion: 5

– Presents information with some organization, but there may be a lack of overall progression.

– Makes inadequate use of cohesive devices (however, additionally, furthermore).

– May be repetitive due to lack of referencing and substitution (such written twice, there is).

– May not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate (the third paragraph lacks clarity, and the last point in the fourth paragraph is a sidetrack).

Lexical Resource: 6

– Uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task (enhance, demands).

– Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy.

– Makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

– Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.

– Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely reduce communication.

Overall, the essay presents a coherent response to the task. However, there are areas where improvement can be made in terms of paragraph organization, cohesive devices, and sentence clarity. Additionally, some vocabulary choices could be refined to enhance precision.