The difference between scoring a 6 band and a 7.5 band in the Academic Writing Task 1 of IELTS could simply be the choice of words used in the essay. By incorporating words like ‘rapid’ and ‘drastic’ instead of ‘fast’ and ‘unexpected,’ not only will your essay become more substantial, but your chances of achieving a higher band score will also increase. But do you know how to do this effectively?

In this article, you will learn about the distinctions between a 6 band essay and a 7.5 band essay in the IELTS Academic Writing Task 1. We will take a sample 6 band essay and reframe each point by identifying mistakes and improving the sentence structure and grammar.

Let’s examine the example question and a sample answer to understand this better.

Example question:

The following diagram illustrates how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric dam.

Write a 150-word essay describing the process.

The given diagram illustrates a hydroelectric dam in which electricity is produced. The whole process includes a large dam constructed in the river, creating a larger reservoir connected to the powerhouse where electricity is generated.

6 band sample answer:

First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. Then it flows through a zone called Penstock, due to which pressure at the exit of the penstock gets rocketed. This high-pressure water rotates the turbine, which is at the exit of the penstock. The turbine is connected to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity produced is then delivered to long distances with the help of cables.

The electricity generated has no harmful effects and it is manufactured through a renewable source of energy. The water from the turbine flows through another channel into the river.

How can this answer be turned into a 7.5 band essay?

The first sentence of the essay has grammatical as well as spelling errors. Instead of “The given diagram illustrates a hydroelectric dam in which electricity is produced,”

It should be “The given diagram illustrates the way a hydroelectric dam produces electricity.”

Moving on to the next sentence, which says, “The whole phenomenon includes a large dam constructed in the river which creates a larger reservoir, which is further connected to the powerhouse where the electricity is generated.” This sentence is not only structured wrongly but is also very long. Avoid constructing such lengthy sentences.

A better way to phrase the same information would have been “The whole process starts with a dam constructed in a river, creating a larger reservoir. This is further connected to the powerhouse where electricity is generated.”

(From here on, the mistakes will be marked in red and the changes and alterations will be marked in green)

First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. Then, it (After this, it) flows through a zone called Penstock where, at the exit, the pressure of the water rises up. This high-pressure water rotates the turbine, which is (located) at the exit of the penstock. The turbine is connect (connected) to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from the flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity thus produced is then delivered (supplied) to various locations, near and far, with the help of pipes.

The electricity generated this way through hydroelectric power has no harmful effects. An added advantage here is that it is also a renewable source of energy. The water from the turbine flows through flows through another channel into the river.

What the complete answer looks like?

The given diagram illustrates the way a hydroelectric dam produces electricity. The whole process starts with a dam constructed in a river, creating a larger reservoir. This is further connected to the powerhouse where electricity is generated.

First of all, water from the reservoir enters the dam through an intake. After this, it flows through a zone called Penstock where, at the exit, the pressure of the water rises up. This high-pressure water rotates the turbine located at the exit of the penstock. The turbine is connected to the generator through a shaft where mechanical energy from the flowing water is converted into electrical energy in the powerhouse. The electricity thus produced is then supplied to various locations, near and far, with the help of pipes.

The electricity generated this way through hydroelectric power has no harmful effects. An added bonus here is that it is also a renewable source of energy.