Let’s attempt to analyze the candidate’s response to the given IELTS writing task 1:

Question:

You are writing a letter to your friend saying that you have moved into a new house. In your letter, write:

1. Reasons for shifting

2. Describe your new home

3. Invite him to your new home

Candidate’s Response:

Dear Bill,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. As I was busy moving my house, I wasn’t able to write to you earlier.

I had to move my house in a hurry as the landlord wasn’t extending the rent period. At the last minute, he asked us to find a new place for ourselves.

However, luckily, the new house which I found out is really nice. It’s closer to my office, and all the necessary amenities are nearby. Now I feel, whatever happens is for the good.

Since Diwali is approaching, why don’t you all come here to Mumbai for the vacations? Since this new house is bigger, you and your kids can use the guest room. Also, as mentioned before, as all amenities are nearby, we all can roam around and have fun.

Awaiting a positive reply. Charu and Chitra are already excited in the hope of spending Diwali with you all.

Yours truly,

Jill

Analysis of the IELTS writing task 1 response:

Paragraph 1:

Strengths:

– Appropriate greeting and introduction to the main topic.

– Clear indication of the news being shared.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

– “earlier on” can be replaced with “earlier.”

Paragraph 2:

Strengths:

– The candidate provides a reason for shifting, fulfilling the first bullet point of the question.

– The sentences are free from grammar and tense errors.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

None

Paragraph 3:

Strengths:

– Proper use of a sentence connector (“however”) to introduce a contrasting idea.

– Correct usage of vocabulary with the word “amenities.”

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

None

Paragraph 4:

Strengths:

– The candidate describes the new home, addressing the second bullet point of the question.

– The paragraph is well-structured and properly formatted.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

– “the guest room” can be replaced with “our guest room.”

– “Also, as mentioned before, as all amenities are nearby we all can roam around and have fun.” can be revised as “As all amenities are nearby, we all can roam.”

Paragraph 5:

Strengths:

– The candidate invites the friend to the new home, fulfilling the third bullet point of the question.

– The conclusion of the letter is appropriately written.

Corrected Erroneous Statement:

– “Awaiting for a positive reply.” should be revised as “Awaiting a positive reply!”

– “in hope of” can be revised as “in the hope of”

Expected Band Score: Band 7

Overall, the candidate’s response mostly adheres to correct grammar, tense, and word choice. The candidate addresses all aspects of the question and maintains good paragraphing and formatting. There are some minor punctuation errors, but the overall response is clear and well-structured.